by Jeremiah Sepotokele, Lesiba Mothibe & Yaya Mavundla

It is Thursday, 9th January 2013, when Inkanyiso crew attended Brenda Nonceba Mvula’s memorial service at Acts Christian Church in Midrand, Johannesburg.

Although the Memorial Service was scheduled for 11h00 but started later than that. When we got there at 11h20 we found people standing outside in circles next to their neatly parked luxury cars.

It didn’t seem like they were worried when the service will be starting as some were puffing their smokes.
For a moment I wondered if I wasn’t confusing cigarettes with cigars as everything screamed opulence.

In a blink of an eye everyone waltzed into the venue. It amazed how some of us didn’t notice that we were the only ones left outside. I guess we were still stunned by the best behaviour, especially after attending Muntu’s funeral the previous weekend.

The service was opened by Pastor Musso, who shared a message of being in the right standing with God.
“Brenda knew Jesus, she inspired many through the word of God, and therefore we shouldn’t worry because she is going to heaven” he preached.

Program Director Lethabo Hazel Matlala introduced the speakers. One would have expected a family member to be the first to come up and pay their final tribute to Brenda but it wasn’t the case.
The program was filled with friends who took the honour of sharing their encounters with Brenda.
It came as a surprise to note that no one shared Brenda’s childhood experience, especially for friends who claimed that Brenda as a role model.

A friend who was touched by indirect work Brenda did for the LGBTI community was Steve Letsike, who described her as an inspiration.
“She was passionate, she believed in our queer community. She believed that every LGBTI person must be employed or have their own business. She also wanted us to open a gym together amongst other things she was doing on the side, she was passionate.”

Pule Rampa was one specific friend who shared a lot in common with Brenda, and one of the things they shared was the love of God. Pule also spoke so fondly of her late friend when paying tribute.
“I don’t have a friend, I never had a friend, and she was my first friend. We were brought together by the Lord.”

A tribute melodic performance by Trevor Simpson kept Brenda’s spirit alive.

Amongst the friends who came to the service were also buddies who traveled all the way from Durban and shared a lot of amazing experiences.
Philile Shoba, a Durbanite remembered the day in October when they attended the 2013 LGBTI Recognition Awards ceremony where Brenda and her gorgeous soul mate Koketso Matlaweng won BEST Couple.
That’s one of the greatest moments she remembers amongst many they shared.

Other cyber friends who spoke fondly of Brenda were Abigail Bibi King; Nomagcina Shezi; Jessica (FEW); Nolwazi (Neighbour in Midrand) and Thandi Kwinana.

It was said that Brenda was a go getter, women of class who loved showing off her lavish lifestyle on Facebook. Surprisingly, this is where most of her friends who describe “Brenda the hustler” met her.

Majority that was at the memorial service never met her in person but on facebook. We as the crew also never met the deceased but came to support with documentation since that is what we do most.

Towards the end Mpho Nefuri read a very moving poem by Koketso  Matlaweng paying tribute to her late partner in a very dignified manner.

In closing, Pule Rampa read the late Brenda’s obituary followed by the moving prayer to end the service.  Then Matilda Maroga gave a vote of thanks to all those who attended.

“Sithi lala ngoxolo, ulufezile ugqatso!!!”

Related article
2014 Jan.9: Brenda Mvula’s Memorial Service

and

Previous articles by the authors

2014 Jan. 5: After tears for Muntu Masombuka’s

and

2013 Dec. 30: Beauties and the Beach…

and

2013 March 30: A response to Definitely Not Gaysbian article

and

2014 Jan. 5: High Fashion at Muntuza’s funeral in KwaThema

by Buli Vimbelela

On the 30^th of March 2014 a crowd of people gathered in Zola, Soweto to witness Promise Mavundla and Sanele Shabangu’s umqomiswano (engagement), a gathering which many were unsure of, but had piqued their interest nonetheless. There were unsure if it was a wedding or what? They were peering into the home of Mavundla, who identifies as a butch lesbian who was welcoming her soon to be wife, Shabangu, who identifies as a femme lesbian.

This is how it all started…

When asked how the two met, Sanele said, “For a while, I had been keeping an eye on S’thembiso, as she affectionately calls her, when one afternoon my sister and I bumped into her along the road.
I was too shy to ask for her number, but my sister did on my behalf”, she chuckles!
“From then on, I contacted her and initiated a relationship”.  She says she knew she would marry her one day, as they hit it off on first contact.

It was in January 2014 when Promise introduced Sanele to her sister as “a woman I’m going to marry”. There weremixed reactions from both sides of the families. When Promise introduced Sanele to her mom as her girlfriend, they instantly hit it off and built a strong relationship as mother and daughter. She was receptive because she had already accepted her daughter’s lifestyle as a lesbian. On the other hand, Sanele had reservations about introducing Promise to her mom, because she had not been too impressed by her daughter’s previous partner. She was subsequently encouraged by a woman close to her, to tell her mom about Promise. She eventually did and her mom requested to meet Promise.

The woman in love and loved… ‘itshitshi’

It was then that Sanele’s mom informed Promise that since Sanele was  a tshitshi (virgin) and their family still followed tradition; they needed to perform the umqomiswanoceremony.  She agreed. Umqomiswano is a ceremony where one says ‘yes I am now ready to date steadily’ and put a beaded necklace around the man’s neck to show other women that he’s ‘taken’.  In this case, it was the femme giving the necklace to the butch-. It may be likened to an engagement ceremony.  Preparations began as they gathered all the ‘amatshitshi’ to practice song and dance for the day. They were also expected ‘ukugonqa‘ loosely translated to mean to fast and ready oneself for the day.

Fast forward to 30 March 2014, we attended their umqomiswano/ engagement ceremony. The day started off quietly at the Mavundla home, where they were expecting the arrival of the amatshitshi and preparations for lunch were happening. Meanwhile at the Shabangu home, singing and dancing was heard aloud, as they were about to depart for the Mavundla home to hang the flags before the bride-to-be gets there.

It was beautiful seeing the procession on the streets of Soweto, as people stopped along the road to watch as this was an unusual sighting around the township. On arrival at the Mavundla home, members of the family, friends and some more people were waiting in anticipation. There were some passersby who asked amongst themselves what was happening, “was someone getting married?” they asked.

As the tradition goes, the procession got closer to home. They stopped to dance as they waited for a family representative to welcome them, with a specified amount of money. After that was taken care of, they proceeded to the yard, amatshitshi bearing gifts for the groom and all the while, the bride-to-be was amongst them. Promise, being the shy person that she is, was called in to sit in the center to receive her gifts. I must say she rather looked different, yet cute, in her men’s traditional outfit. More gifts were exchanged from one family to the other.

The dancing to Zulu songs started again, while amatshitshi took turns to dance with Promise also showcasing bits of her dancing. Then the biggest surprise of the day came, Promise immerged carrying a beautiful jewelry box. She got everyone’s attention and asked Sanele to join her at the center where everyone was watching. They were both kneeling down and in her shy voice she asked Sanele to marry her and she without hesitating, said yes! There were loud cheers and ululations as the beautiful ring flashed around and pictures were taken.

Quick words of congratulations and encouragements were said by both families. Promise’s mom had this to say, “Today I’m happy to see our kids do the right thing, the right way. What makes my daughter happy makes me happy”. She urged Promise to take good care of Sanele. What struck me most was Sanele’s mom’s words when she said “Today I’m a proud woman, proud that my daughter kept herself pure to this day. I’m proud to show the people of Soweto that there are still 22yr old virgins” – she said. To Sanele she said, “Just like you came to us saying you love Promise and you wanted the world to know, I want you to know that we didn’t take that lightly and there’s no turning back now. I will not have you say you don’t want it anymore”. And to Promise she said, “I know you will do the right thing and marry my child, I wish you well”. And to that there were more cheers and ululations and the party began.

It was indeed a beautiful and colourful day as we experienced our culture within the LGBTI community and of course the Inkanyiso crew was there to capture it all.

Previous by Buli

2014 Jan. 21: Living an active life

and

2013 Nov. 19: Love is a beautiful thing

Miss Tee Menu wins Miss Gay Jozi 2014.
She is from Daveyton…

More photos and articles to be included sooner.

Photo by Smanga Shange/ Inkanyiso.

Photos and text by Charmain Carrol.

Four months ago…

Where:  Midrand, Johannesburg
When:  23^rd March 2014

Bathini Dambuza and I were honoured to attend yet another engagement lunch of two of our fellow lesbian sisters held in Midrand, Johannesburg. The couple who got engaged is Vanessa Mathebula (24) and Ntokozo Mthalane (27. Ntokozo is a professional dancer and Vanessa is a medical rep.
As you walk into their apartment there are pictures of them on the walls and one could sense the warmth and homely atmosphere. The kitchen counter was full of food that the couple had prepared for the guests.

Close friends and family were there to support and celebrate with them. The couple started dating on 9th February 2013. On the 14^th March 2014,  Ntokozo (also known as Nana) proposed to her sweetheart and on the 23^rd March 2014 a lunch was held in which many friends and family witnessed their engagement.

Amongst the family members who came to support the couple was Vanessa’s mother.  I managed to steal  some few minutes from her as she was very busy with preparations. She was very hands-on as to not just being there but also contributing by capturing the moments of her second eldest daughter’s special day. I asked her how she felt about the engagement since there’s so much hate crimes reported in our society and she said, “I have accepted my daughter and her partner as part of the family. As long as they are happy, I will support them”.

As the day progressed a lot of dancing took place and we couldn’t help but notice how the couple couldn’t get their hands off of each other, stealing kisses here and there one could tell how in love the couple is.

Previous by Charmain

2013 Feb. 8:  “Let your voices be heard”

All Photos by Lerato Maduna
© 27/11/2012

What:  Faces and Phases exhibition opening

When:  2 Years ago (27th November 2012)

Where:  Goethe-Institut Südafrika, 119 Jan Smuts Ave, Parkwood. Johannesburg.

 Where are they now?

Ayanda Moremi got married to Nhlanhla Moremi on the 9th November 2014 in Thokoza and Vosloorus townships, Johannesburg.

Ntobza work and live in Durban.  Yaya Mavundla writes for Inkanyiso

Alia has since moved to Georgia…
 Sly Pod travelled with me to San Francisco and presented her story as a participant in Faces and Phases and on the state of being a young black lesbian professional in South Africa.
See: Photos from Brown Bois Retreat in Oakland, California.

Collen Mfazwe is finishing Photography –  Intermediate Course at Market Photo Workshop.
Collen’s best article “The special boy”

Neo Ntsoma had her documentary produced by AlJazeera 

https://buni.tv/video/artscape-new-african-photography-neo-ntsoma/

Neo is the first black woman recipient of the CNN African Journalist Award for photography...

The number of friends, participants in Faces and Phases series who attended the exhibition… More than 300 individuals were there.

Lesego Tlhwale volunteered for Inkanyiso as a writer and currently work for SWEAT in Cape Town. Lesego’s partner is featured here with her partner, Baitiri.
Best read article by Lesego is “A dildo is not a man, it’s a fantastic toy…”

Ayanda Msiza photographed Tumi Nkopane and Maureen Majola.
Majola performed “Sifela I Ayikho” at Studio 44, Berlin in Germany.
Lerato Maduna, one of the best Black Female Photographers in South Africa, she took the photos featuring in this photo album. Lerato is franked by Siphiwe Mbatha and Collen Mfazwe both from Daveyton township.

Teekay Khumalo, Pinky Mbangula and Sne Lunga are some of the participants in Faces and Phases…

The handsome Teekay contemplating…
He came all the way from Durban to Johannesburg to attend the special event.

L-R:  Visual Artists Humbu Nsenga and Renee Mathibe came to support…

Xana Nyilenda is one of the best young filmmakers and writer.
Read her travel-log:
“Cramps were killing me.”

Members of my bio family who attended my exhibition for the first time in Johannesburg. So wish my late mother was physical there.

Responding to journalist question why I think Visual Activism is so important in South Africa….
Read article:  Poise, Pride and Prejudice

Lungile Dladla is a dedicated young activist. She wrote her first story for Inkanyiso which touched so many readers’ hearts. Titled “I am not a victim but a Victor”

Candice Nkosi won the second princess on Miss Gay Jozi (2013).
She is featuring in the Beauties and Beach series.

NB:  To read related articles CLICK on underlined links provided on this post.

To be continued…

by Lindeka Qampi

What: Gay Wedding

When:  7th Aug. 2014

Where: Johannesburg, South Africa

1. Decoration: Kim Cordier was Décor person who was responsible in making the entire venue glitz in crystals, chandeliers, red and white and also incorporating rainbow/LGBTI colours in the garden and Reception area.

Important items on our wedding list were:

1.Venue, Food and drinks, Photography, Invitations, Guests, Pastor, Decoration, cake, Suits and shoes, Entertainment system.

2. Suits and Bow ties: Red it’s our colour because of its simplicity and warm feeling of love.

3. Makeup artist: was Nomagugu Mwelase who is a beautician working in her own studio in Soweto and has been doing beauty work for quite a number of people in the entertainment industry that’s why we recommended her.

4. Pastor John Klooper from the Andre Murray Reforming Church in Pretoria Brooklyn blessed our ceremony and we are the church members.

5. Flowers exchange ceremony was the highlight of our wedding which portrait love and spiritual path as gay Christians.

6. Venue Owner: we had a very good relationship with Barbara as we used to visit the restaurant at the venue; she eventually became our wedding planner.

 7. On the Red Couch: We waited in the wedding suit to prepare our makeup, putting on our wedding suits, and conduct the interview with journalists from Inkanyiso.

8. Garden: the garden set up with fresh lilies and smell of lavender was the heart of the beauty of the wedding as the red and white colours filled the place with joy peace and happiness.

Wedding Plans

We meet 2 years ago in Johannesburg and after sometime we decided to get married legally with a small private wedding of 30 people as guests.
We are staying together in Helderkruin, North West of Johannesburg.
We  we have visited most restaurants and other venues around and eventually that led us in choosing Valverde Country Hotel in Lammar Moore, Beyers Naude.
It was the perfect wedding venue as it is outside Johannesburg, quiet and beautiful.
It actually took us 3 months to prepare for everything as we always knew that we will get married. We knew what we wanted luckily had very supportive and respecting friends and family in our lives.

Through commitment and sharing of responsibilities we were able to achieve it all although there were some hiccups here and there. We thank all people who dedicated their time and made our wedding to be the Best and Perfect thing in our lives.

Related link

2014 Oct. 5: “The best day of their lives”

Where:  Market Photo Workshop

Photos by Lindeka Qampi

SlyPod featuring in Faces and Phases series…

Text by Amo Senokwane

It was great to finally attend an event organised for Zanele Muholi by Lerato Dumse (a participant in the F&P series and journalist) emotionally supported by Market Photo Workshop (MPW). I had previously not been able to attend any of the events in Cape Town. Moving to Jozi (Johannesburg) is good. The Faces and Phases book launch at MPW was great I must say. The event was well planned and organised, I loved the outdoor setup.

Big up to Zanele Muholi and her team for providing food, drinks and transportation for the masses and of course accommodation for some of us. Thank you Z.

The fact that almost all the participants in Faces and Phases were able to attend was great and getting my second edition of the book was exciting. Upon seeing my story in the book gave me hope that it will inspire one person out there to be brave and follow their dreams and most importantly, to fully trust in God. I was happy to see so many people there, the support shown for Zanele was unbelievable.

I met new people, like Mary Louw, Ziyanda Majozi and Nqobile Zungu – just to mention a few. I also saw a lot of familiar faces which was amazing. The event had ups and downs. The down for me was the guest of honour arriving late and making us wait, which was not cool at all, but you are forgiven Muholi!!!
I was also disappointed by the behaviour that was displayed by some of the people especially when there was a speaker in front trying to address us, there were small meetings being held all over the place.

When Kekeletso Khena (who is also a participant in the series) was addressing the the microphone volume was low at first but was raised and people kept on talking willy nilly!.
I wish that next time our attitude changes and we in turn respect everyone who may have taken their time to come to congratulate and celebrate one of us and encourage some of us.

I was taught that listening is more than just a skill it is RESPECT! Let us respect our own, so that the world can respect us back.

All the best for your future endeavours.

Lungile Dladla who is in the book and also authored one of the moving stories published…

Related links

2014 Sept. 26: Visual diary from Ulm, Germany

and

2014 Nov. 17: Announcement – MoMA present two best South African artists

and

2014 Oct. 31: Faces and Phases (2006 – 2014) book launch

and

2014 Nov. 17: “I love how my two portraits contradict each other”

Our dedicated activist, Mary Louw showing off her copy as she appeared in one of the pages…

Dee Dlamini who authored

2013 Oct. 12: I just feel she deserves much better

Lebo Mashifane and her friend…
Joanne Shaw from Daveyton collected the book for her partner, Thola Sithole.

Vuvu Mtsweni, a proud lesbian mother who told her life story without shame.

Tumi Mkhuma and Phindile ‘Bouga’ Kubeka, both are participants in the book…

Matshidiso Mofokeng from Vosloorus, she is a great soccer player and activist...

Activism will be so boring in Joburg without the voice and humor of Sweeto Mahlatse.
Her dedication to the LGBTI movement in Joburg and beyond led to her being included in the F&P series.

Palesa Mkhwebane, Vuvu Mtsweni in front Siphiwe Mbatha, all from Daveyton came to celebrate themselves… 

The strong audience that enjoyed the queer event of the year… 

Lesego Masilela, a fashionista from Daveyton is also featuring in the book… 

More photos to be included sooner…

There is no single smile in Zanele Muholi’s Faces and Phases 2006-14 book

The book was recently launched in Johannesburg South Africa, and is a collection of black and white portraits captured by Zanele Muholi between 2006 to 2014.

They are photographs of lesbians and transgender individuals.
The people featured are beautiful, angry, sexy, powerful, tired, educated, motivated, inspired and intriguingly unique.

The colour of their skin, love and sexual attraction places them on these pages.

These black Lesbians and Trans-wo/men come from all walks of life and from everywhere in the world, including South Africa, Sweden, Botswana, Uganda, Zimbabwe, Canada and beyond.

Some photographs are coupled with the participants’ biography, as well as stories that are; inspiring, sad, encouraging, heart breaking, and somehow a promise of a better tomorrow. While other biographies bring anger and disgust.

You need to have a strong stomach to handle the truth about the sufferings, the cruelty and love shared in the Faces and Phases pages.

In many ways, I find the book to be an empowering validation of the black wo/men’s ability to accept, overcome, exist and still love in a space where one is hated and ostracized by their own family and community, and lives in danger.

The 2013 Mr Daveyton winners. From Left – Right: Nontuthuzelo Mduba, Lebo Magaela and Nonkululeko Sharon Mthunzi.

 
Muholi’s friends, sisters, lovers and brothers have been maimed, raped, tortured and she could be next, just for being a different kind of a black wo/man.

Most of the featured participants agree that the justification for the inhumane actions against them, is due to the claim that their sexuality is unAfrican and evil.

Their other camaraderie is the fierce and pregnant eyes that meet yours on each page. Each pair pierces through your eyes straight to your soul as if to interrogate your core with questions you wish not hear nor answer.

This is because of the knowledge that you are inversely and otherwise responsible for the anger, vulnerability, tears, hurt, pain, numbness, distrust, blood, killings, fear, grief carried in their eyes.

Nunu Sigasa, Germiston, Johannesburg, 2010

Zanele has been successful in capturing deep emotions through her simple yet complex black and white photographs. The eyes of the posers uncomfortably, and it seemingly intentionally drawing you in.

After involuntarily staring at each page for some time, you cannot help but turn the page anxious to disconnect from the pain, and the drawing power of the eyes, only to be met by yet another set of eyes glaring at you with a story set apart from the previous one only by detail but similar in pain, agony, conviction and determination.

These eyes are proud but carry too many questions of why and when?
There are a few biographies contained in the book.

Some of the stories may break your heart in a thousand pieces because of the cruelty experienced by the participants, and others will make you sick to the stomach when victims talk of their experience or close encounters with being raped, friends and lovers stoned, stabbed and strangled to death by other human beings only for being different.

Its a realisation that humans can be barbaric!!

Thank God for Faces and Phases; it reconnects the human with what the world has called lesbian or gay, dyke, queer or homosexual.

Nouns that are used by the ‘world’ to disconnect and detach their horrific actions and hatred for the victim, not seeing this group of people as human beings.

The book is without any doubt a necessary and an overdue reminder of the fact that LGBTIs are born of human mothers, have brothers, sisters, cousins and uncles. That some are parents who feel, cry, bleed and have dreams for their own children. In other words, the book is a reminder that we are all the same.

My wish is for the book to be read and embraced by those outside the LGBTI community – it will change the world and diminish the harsh cruel inhumane realities experienced and feared by many.
Unfortunately, even though Zanele gave it a sanitary discrete cover, this is one of those books that will unjustifiably be judged by its cover.

Amongst the heartbreaking biographies, some of the stories carry a surprising presentation of unexpected positive words of encouragement, a sense of self love and compassion.

A perfect example for many are the words by Pearl Mbali Zulu: ‘they might swear at us as much as they want to, beat us up, rape and murder us but they won’t break our souls. Our inner beauty will remain and it will be expressed in every special way’. The words standout  not because they are the first you see when you open the book but because Pearl Mbali Zulu’s biography on page 217 is poignant and inspirational and should be a message and a mantra  for every girl, young and old women, homosexual and straight!

Paging deeper and deeper in the book I became a bit concerned, that Muholi only captured young people, what about the generation before this one?

Reaching page 135 was a pleasantly anticipated surprise. My eyes connected with the eyes of Nokuthula Dhladhla who seems to be in her 40s. She is a Woman of the Cloth (Pastor) that was rejected and disowned by her spiritual family and literally pushed right into the hands of a gang that raped and left her to die by the road side.

Her church at that time said it was God’s punishment to her, for being Lesbian.
She too has overcome coming eye to eye with death, to ironically continue her spiritual calling of healing and teaching about forgiveness.

It is another pleasing honour to look into the eyes of successful professionals that the world choses to see only as Lesbians or Trans – wo/men or misfits. Page 130 introduces Joyce Ndlovu – a Human Resources Administrator for a mining company in Marikana where she is surprisingly accepted and embraced by the men mineworkers predominately from rural Zulu and Xhosa land.

Unbelievably, they call her Skhokho! (affectionate expression, endearment towards someone you love and trust with your life).

Her story is a story of hope and a glimpse of what our reality can become, when we see people for who they are.

Furthermore there are photographs of human rights activists and civil society leaders; Funeka Soldaat B of Free Gender on page 110, community builders, soccer stars and traditional healers.

Thanks to this book the many phases faced by the LGBTIs are forever archived and will one day be literature increasing the understanding of generations to come.

There is not a single smile in the Faces and Phases book. I was surprised and honoured to receive a call from Zanele Muholi inviting me to the Faces and Phases Book launch.
Later, after the launch, sitting at home, paging through this unexpected, extraordinary, arresting and can’t-put-down book, I was reminded of her equally powerful and mind capturing exhibitions I have previously attended.

It is at that same moment that I realised that there’s not a single smile in the book…but at the launch…the LESBIANS WERE HAPPY!!

I think because through this Faces and Phases book, the Lesbians were, for a moment, free and safe to be.
The black women and transmen in the book make one thing clear, it is not acceptance they seek as yet, just human compassion to be allowed to just be.

The book is a real eye opener with potential to breakdown the long standing boundaries and divisions between LGBTIs and society at large. Thanks to Zanele Muholi!
She has done it again! Created photographic collection like no other and I am confident that none like this one will be achieved in our lifetime.
Once again, excellent work for humanity!!

Looking forward to the next phase.
Regards and congratulations
Kea Modise-Moloto
– Bontlebame NPO

by Tinashe Wakapila

Red, Black and White are always the best definition of love and
sharing. On February 15, members of Victory Ministries Church International (VMCI) looked bright, while wearing these colours. They were commemorating Valentine’s Day, which was celebrated the day before.

Congregants at VMCI – Durban moving to worshipping song.
Photos by Charmain Carrol (2015/02/15)

As usual, the service commenced shortly after 11am, with the praise and worship team singing and inviting the Holy Spirit. The intersession is a way of cleansing a Christian meeting place, as well as calling upon the Holy Spirit to do some divine intervention. This is done so that when there are any evil spirits or demonic attacks, they get dealt with. Just like many Pentecostal churches, VMCI starts the service this way.

One thing about VMCI is that no one goes out without receiving something. Be it healing, delivery, love, peace of mind, motivation or whatever you may need, you are bound come out of the church with it.

The church has 5 main rites that are practiced weekly. It includes the welcoming and introductory rite (visitors and those who are new or just passing by are given time to introduce themselves). Then an announcement is made, “Bonke abantu abazizwa ukhuti base khaya lana edlini ka Jesu Krestu, kufanele babone ubabu Ndlela, ba gchwalise i form, lokuba yi member” (meaning all those who feel at home must see Mr Ndlela to fill in a membership form).

The program then moved on to Bab’ Mkhize with this week’s word of encouragement. Mkhize enhanced the congregant’s spirits with hope after preaching from Acts chapter 16, verse 25 and sharing the story of Paul and Silas who were imprisoned because of doing God’s work. In encouraging us, Mkhize stressed how the door will always open as long as we take it all to the Lord in prayer, and to never lose hope that the Lord will answer.

Next it was the rite of offertory, led by bible verses to help people give whole-heartedly. Another elder of the church, Mam’ Mkhize (no relation to bab’ Mkhize) shared a scripture from Malachi 3 vs. 8.

Then came time for the gospel of the Lord, preached by Pastor Z. Zungu. John 11 was the chosen book, and focused on being patient with the Lord God almighty, “because his time is always right” added Zungu.

The pastor elaborated how God always turns messes into messages, tests into testimonies and victims into victors! Personally as a writer and member of VMCI I always find it possible to go back home with the positive energy. Even when I have been drained and defeated by emotional frustrations, I always find it as a fountain of the Lord’s grace.
Victory Ministries Church International is a place that one feels at home, even when far from Home.

Previous by Tinashe

2015 Jan. 3: I dropped out of the closet many times

by Sicka ‘Shaz’ Mthunzi

Imbokodo is what she is, a mother that I love and respect more than anything in the world.

She has the strength of 10 men and a heart full of life and love. She is my mother, my pillar of strength, my best friend and my sense of direction. Words cannot describe the list of everything that she is, what I know is that she is my everything.‬

‪Mama this is a thank you letter from me to you.
A token of my appreciation just to thank you for everything you have done for me.
Many didn’t get this chance to thank their mothers.

Shaz ‘Sicka’ Mthunzi & her mother…

You carried me for 9 months and screamed during birth but you never threw me in the street. You raised us with love and tender care, even with no food and shelter, you sacrificed your skin and protected us from rains and high temperatures.

I still bear emotional scars inside me from seeing my father hit you in front of us, you still stood up with pride and protected us from the monster he became. You raised us single handed with out the help of a man in your life. I bow to you and say “Uyimbokodo”.

At the age of 16 things changed for the worst with no father and me getting sick my family disappeared as if they we not there. Stress clouded your well being, when you watched sicknesses take over my body. I was told I have a calling, a calling in which will haunt me until I leave this earth and bring suffering in my home.

I suffered various chronic diseases very torturing and tormenting in my soul and body. I remember crying each and everyday asking myself what I did to deserve such misery and heartache.
You were still there when friends became strangers, family became critics.

I used to see things which no one could see, I used to do things not any ordinary person can. Things changed in a blink of an eye. Although you didn’t understand, you still stood beside me all the time.‬

‪I sat down and took a huge decision that involves saving my family from poverty. My greatest fear was when my ancestors said they would take my intelligence since I use it a lot. I told you about the decision I had taken, and also went and told my father’s family but they ignored me.

Mom you helped me through the process with the help of my late uncle, whom I still miss and know you do all the time. When I told you about my sexuality you didn’t disown me. Instead you hugged me and told me you support me all the way, the LGBTI community and the world needs women like you.

You are always there when I need you, even when I have made you angry you are still there for me. I love you mom, as much as I don’t have anything to give you now, I promise that through my hard work, I will give you the best gift a child can ever give a parent.‬

Shaz ‘Sicka’ Mthunzi & her mother II

‪A little poem to you mom‬
‪She has a success formula
Her endeavors are limitless
She is tops in the art of friendship
She has an endearing smile
She is able to use her intellect wisely
Her laughter is contagious
She has the qualities of a pearl
She’s been known to show who’s the boss
Prefers the path less traveled by lots of love,
I love you mom.‬

Related link

2014 Oct. 15: A letter to my Mom by Siba Nkumbi

by Lerato Dumse

While many choose to play it safe in life, with comfortable 9-5pm jobs, living in safe neighborhoods, engaging in safe conversations, and staying out of their corrupt government and their associate’s way. There are brave women and men who refuse to play it safe and tackle issues affecting their fellow human sisters and brothers, putting their lives at risk and are even killed and/or imprisoned for their actions.

These fearless individuals, such as Angolan journalist, Rafael Marques de Morais were honoured on March 18 during the 15^th Index on Censorship Freedom of Expression Awards 2015. The ceremony was held at the Barbican Centre, in London.

The common cliché about how tough the judge’s decision was during competitions, awards or pageants was clearly evident in this case, especially when viewing video clips of the nominees in the four different categories during the awards. This annual event looks at “the most creative defenders of free speech in the planet.”

Working as MC for the night, comedian Shappi Khorsandi had the house roaring with laughter with her witty and humorous way of talking about serious issues, which involve politics, sexuality, religion, and terrorism. No one was safe from Shappi’s jokes, including herself and her family, as she shared her experience of being an Iranian born British, whose family was forced to flee their country of birth due to her father’s line of work as a writer. The comedian also spoke about the negative impact experienced by her father for not being able to continue working and expressing himself in his own language.

Highlights looking at “the year that was” were played in a short video clip that featured Journalists who have been arrested in Egypt, the Charlie Hebdo killings in Paris, France and the recent shooting at a Copenhagen cafe were a debate on Islam and free speech was held.

The index judges conceded that the journalism category was so tough they had to declare a tie. Safa Al Ahmad from Saudi Arabia who has spent the past three years filming mass uprisings in the Eastern Province of her country. Her 30mins documentary titled Saudi’s Secret Uprisings has resulted in Safa facing violent online threats and being advised not to return to her country.

Sharing the award with Safa, Rafael Marques de Morais’ journalism exposes government and human rights abuses in the diamond companies. Apart from being sued 1 million pound (close to 18 million rand), he is due to appear before an Angolan court, faced with 9 various charges stemming from his reports about the diamond industry. Asked for comment on how African journalist can produce fearless investigative pieces, Rafael’s advise was for journalist to “form a band of brother and sisterhood, support another” in order to have strength and safety in numbers.

Another African scooped the Campaigning award, Amran Abdundi, a women’s rights activist from the Kenyan and Somalia border was presented with the award.

Giving one of the most profound speeches of the evening and sharing that it was her birthday and one she will remember forever. Amran dedicated the award to women who are part of her organisation Frontier Indigenous Network (FIN), which has set up shelters, despite receiving death threats. FIN supports women who are vulnerable to rape in conflict areas (including gang rape), as well as those experiencing female circumcision. “This award is for Kenyan women who are rejected by their families for having children out of wedlock, to the women who now have constitutional rights to own property, live stock and land.” The activist said she has been called many unmentionable names for her work, she added that she does not do it to win awards but because it is a grave reality.

While Tamas Bodoky, founder of Atlatszo.hu an investigative news website in Hungary was honoured for his relentless promotion of a free press in the digital activism award. Despite being blacklisted by his government, he continues to run workshops to help protect investigative journalists in his country were media faces a constant threat of suppression, media taxes and police-run office raids.

The arts category provided a mixture of musicians, rapper, cartoonist and a performance artist. It was Mouad ‘El Haqed’ Belghouat who took the award with his radical lyrics. Born in Morocco in 1988, Mouad has been jailed three times since starting his rapping career in 2011. His music raises issues of poverty and government corruption, which mobilised Moroccans to protest against their government. Getting on he index stage, Mouad thanked the organisers of the awards for helping him to secure his visa, which was a challenge.

He dedicated the award to his mother and “those who have been arrested, are arrested and will be arrested,” for standing up against the Moroccan system. “They can kill us, but you can’t kill a thought/idea or put it behind bars,” said the courageous youth. Before singing one of his songs, Mouad expressed his hopes of one day having the freedom to express himself by speaking and singing freely in his country.

Related links

2013 March 24: Recognition of LGBTI Activist should be a culture

Photo album by Terra Dick
Where: Brooklyn Museum
Camera used:  Canon 6D
New York (30.04.2015)

Alicia Boone,  Manager of Adult Programs at Brooklyn Museum: Education Dept., introducing speakers and moderator…

 L-R: Tatyana Fazlalizadeh, Muholi and Staceyann Chin 

Related link
http://www.dapperq.com/2015/04/brooklyn-museum-presents-photographer-zanele-muholis-isiboneloevidence/

by Shaz ‘Sicka Star-ban’ Mthunzi

On Friday, 5th of June 2015  we had our first conference called Yithi Laba, it was one of many more to come in the future which will involve Faces and Phases participants from different fields hosted by Inkanyiso.
The conference took place at Constitution Hill, in Braamfontein Johannesburg. Few Faces and Phases participants were selected to share what they do for a living and also learn from others. On day one we had a Con Hill tour, which used to be a jail during the apartheid era.

Motivational speaker Kea addressing youth at Yithi Laba conference on the 5th June 2015. Con Hill.

After the tour,“Kea” Refilwe Modise Moloto, who is the founder of Bontle Bame, blessed us with a presentation. It is a project that motivates girls between the ages of 11 to 19 years.
She also told us about her life experiences and left the room with emotion and motivation. Later that day Lebo Mashifane‘s mother Mabifu Mashifane had a few words to say about living with her lesbian daughter. We then returned to Melville, where we were booked at Saffron guesthouse for the duration of the conference. When we got there we had supper, documentary screenings followed by Q&A session.

On Saturday, 6th June 2015 we woke up to very a cold weather, got ready and headed back to Con Hill  where we were joined by guest speakers: Dean Hutton, Fadzai Muparutsa, mothers of lesbians, Mally Simelane, Mabifu Mashifane, Linda Mankazana, Bukelwa Dumse and my mother Mapaseka Mthunzi. They all shared their experience and reactions from society on having lesbian daughters, giving advise on how to tackle some issues we face.

Later that night we had screenings of Terra Dick and Christie van Zyl‘s work, which were very moving and inspiring.
On Sunday, 7th June 2015, which was our last day we all had to present and learn from each other. Although we didn’t have much time, we managed to present. I was excited to present about what I do and got carried away with talking because that is one of my specialties.

I personally think that the conference was a success and I have learnt a lot. I am hoping that all that I have learnt will benefit me in the future. I also made new family and friends, I wish the youth of South Africa would appreciate some of the privileges we have. While were lucky to be invited to the first Yithi Laba conference, another youngster was hungry for knowledge, while another was raped and murdered. We all have to work hard and appreciate what we have.

I would like to send a special thank you to the organisers, Lerato Dumse, Christie van Zyl, Zanele Muholi, Lindeka Qampi, Malibongwe Swane and Phumlani Mdlalose.
#Yithi_laba #FacesandPhases #lesbian_love #We_making_history #intergen_conversations #we_love_ourselves #butch_mbokodo

Related links

2015 June 6:  Lesbian youth gather at Constitution Hill for first ever Yithi Laba Conference

and
2015 June 5:  Yithi Laba delegated on Constitution Hill tour
Previous by Shaz

2015 Feb. 19:  Trending with Shaz ‘Sicka’ in Oslo

and

2015 Feb. 15:  “I have won again”

What for:  Oslo Pride events
Photos by Lindeka Qampi/ Inkanyiso media
Camera used:  Canon 6d with 50mm lens hand held

In Resilience
by Christie van Zyl

“Dear Young Black Lesbian
With Faces and Phases anew
Your life has officially been placed on a silver platter
Let not their misconceptions define you as pain
Let them make your fire burn brighter
For to the future generations you a torchbearer
You are a peacekeeper
You the bread to the builders who construct the bridging of gaps between us
You are a heavy-footed spirit
Because your purpose is the motif of greatness
And here in lies the existence of your life ever so blatant.”
– FossilSoul

It is around 9pm in Oslo, Norway, the 25th of June 2015. Inkanyiso Media is in Oslo for a Visual Activism Cultural Exchange Project in collaboration with Kunstplass[10] – a gallery in Oslo. We all use our arts to tell the stories of the existence of our queer lives. So I – FossilSoul, take the stage at Cafe Sor in performance, as poetry is my tool of influence.

I am initially received in a warm manner as always. Performance poetry still struggles at times as we are placed in spaces that are part restaurant and part spaces of entertainment. When I first enter the stage I struggle to share my love, as the restaurant portion of the space is very noisy. I can’t even hear myself on the monitors of my stage. I step off because I do not want to disrespect myself and my art.

Christie exhales to Collen after coming off stage due to irritating noise that interrupted her performance…

I take to the stage again and belt out a chorus of pain- ‘Liyaphela ilizwi Lethu’ – which translates to ‘our nation is perishing’. I feel that pain as I am placed in a space where I am not being listened to. This chorus is what I call ‘isikhalo’ – loosely translated as ‘a cry out’. Then and only then am I heard. It could completely dishearten me that I have to ‘cry’ to be heard; but I have to remember that we are here to spread a message of black queer visibility outside the stereotypes of perpetual victimization. And so we conquer!

I am then only able to perform the ground breaking piece ‘Ode to the Young Black Lesbian‘, intentionally titled this way as our experience of hate crimes in South Africa, has shown us that no one ever tells us that it is going to be ok. This piece speaks resilience to the young black lesbians of our community. So as we speak hope, love and resilience to our fellow black lesbians, we will continue to represent our visibility across the world no matter the odds.

#VACEP
#InkanyisoMedia
#Kunstplass10
#collaborations
#makinghistoryvisible

Previous by Christie

2015 April 13: Ode to the Young Black Lesbian

by Tinashe Wakapila

It was a very wonderful day on the 26th of June. The reason for my joy is because it was a day before pride. I had visitors who travelled from other provinces. They are friends that I met through Faces and Phases and Yithi Laba conference held at the beginning of June. So we had a long, lovely weekend.

Tina’s portrait after Durban Pride. Photo by Terra Dick/ Inkanyiso

Pride is a celebration of the free existence of LGBTI people, who are not defied by the law of South Africa. Sometimes I just think there is more to pride because the LGBTI society still faces issues like hate crimes, hate speech and homophobia, in some parts of the community. Anyhow, my story is about pride and how it went.

I woke up early in the morning and because I had visitors, I wanted to be an early bird, to give my guests the best moments. There were six people in a one bedroom flat, sleeping on the same bed. Funny enough we all fitted, (pride things). It was four femmes, Liz, a straight friend who supports me, Thando Nkozwana from Cape Town, Phila Mbanjwa from Pietermaritzburg and myself, then one butch, Terra Dick who was there to document pride, as well as Sam, a transgender who is my Zimbabwean partner.

As the girls, we had to rock our best look. So we gallivanted into town and checked shop by shop for lovely outfits. Yes lesbian women do so as well. Unfortunately our shopping turned into a stroll, which we had to cut short and rush to the march. We got ready and headed our way to the north beach were the march was starting. Slightly late, we found the parade halfway.

”We are family” was one of the songs we found ourselves humming while approaching the gates of the destination. Different food stalls were laid around and it was so expensive. As much as it was a celebration, most of the black majority found it difficult to celebrate. It was like more of a fundraising event than a celebration. A lot of wonderful performances were done, but the entertainment lacked the presence of many Lesbians. It focused more on the gay community and it was kind of a set back.

I visited the stalls hoping to find female safe-sex protection like dental dams, finger cots and gloves. But the most distributed safe-sex kits were for males. Once again, patriarchal attitudes, were some people still believe lesbian women do not have health risks factors were visible. Only one show was very educational and enlightening, it was from rainbow theatre, a gay and lesbian network. Durban Pride was yet another event which can have excellent significance. Most of us youngsters do not think or see it as an important day. We just see it as a mere day to go out and drink booze. The Pride March turnout was less than the after parties and after march events. Its significance for young people is not as it should be.

Related link

2015 June 28:  Beauties from Faces celebrating their Phases

by Siba Nkumbi

Chubby Vogue Divas, using confidence as their weapon of mass destruction!

59 Years later after the march of women to the union buildings, chubby vogue divas were marching in style and class to eliminate discrimination against plus sized women. What better venue than the Constitution Hill to make a statement on women’s month?
The answer is a resounding jaw dropping wow to the courage and confidence of Charmain Carrol and her Divas.

We seldom witness full- figured women proudly stating that ‘I’m big boned and I love it, get over it’. To be exact the date is the 6^th of August 2015 and today myself and many observers we witnessed the roles change!
Full-figured women were doing it for themselves with a ‘We have arrived attitude’.
The timing is just perfect as it is women’s month and the women are doing things for themselves. Gone are the days of a woman having to wait for someone to make her feel good in her own skin by throwing a compliment every now and then. Chubby vogue Divas are a bunch of women that love themselves unconditionally and they know they are beautiful, strong and smart. The best part is that no one can do anything about it. The time is now to remove the stigma around full- figured women.

Charmain Carrol and Diva Desire at the exhibition opening of Chubby Vogue Divas… Photos by Terra Dick and Lindeka Qampi

As we approached the venue of the chubby vogue divas exhibition by Charmain Carrol, we were welcomed by statues made out of scrap metal, it immediately felt like home as most of us are familiar with zinc from ekasi. The mood was set and the weather was jovial. Moving into the venue, outside there were tables neatly organised in an L-shaped position covered with white cloths, hanging over the white cloths were orange cloths nicely folded in a triangular shape. To finish the beautiful decoration at the table there were refreshments that were nicely put in order. If ever there was anything close to perfection, this is it.

Fellow artists and observers were already in a gay mood before entering the mass hall which was the venue for the exhibition. It is where the Chubby Divas were owning the space with their photographs hanging on the walls of the mass hall.
As the crowd entered the space, it seemed like they were seeing something for the first time. Even my own jaw dropped l laid my eyes on the amazing work of Queen Chubby Diva herself. It wasn’t with sexy black shoes that revealed her nicely polished toes in black nail polish/cutex. Let me paint this picture, eyebrows were at their perfect state and she finished it off with a red lipstick plus matching jewelry. If it didn’t click before, it certainly sunk in after the crowd saw the statement she was making just by her dress code. Any chubby diva that felt trapped in her own skin left the venue a changed person. Charmain personifies the true meaning of loving yourself for who you are as a woman. Chubby vogue Divas are women that are full-figured and are proud of who they are. Some of them growing up they would never

amount to anything in life because they are fat. Well, not these ladies. They are a bunch of successful and qualified Divas.

“Why should skinny girls be the ones leading all major magazines, beauty pageants and fashion runways or be the first ones to be considered for shoots?”
This interesting question that is still mind boggling up to this day was posed by the youngest member of the chubby divas. A 19 year old from Dobsonville, Soweto.
To mention a few of these Divas, we have the likes of Faith Nkateko Nobela who is a designer for extra sized women. Nozibele Duze, better known as Riri all the way from the Eastern Cape and Gugu Zulu who is a police woman and a mother…

The spectators were blown away by this exhibition including myself. It was an intense experience, Charmain was so excited she couldn’t hold back tears. Nothing makes an artist happier than seeing their work not only being shown but making a difference too. She’s a role model to the little chubby girls that are hating themselves because of their weight. Now, that will all change as they have something they relate to and will come to realize that there is nothing wrong with being full- figured all you have to do is embrace yourself as you are, be still and get comfortable under your own skin. Carrol’s work was flawless, she even received offers for her well shot photographs before the show even ended. Her work speaks for itself and the models looked stunning.
The pictures that caught my attention were pictures of Nomsa Buthelezi, not only did she pose comfortably in her own skin, she was wearing a nice traditional dress of the Swati clan. She was also black and proud. Then Nombulelo Khumalo in her nice blue outfit posed to kill, she is not only a chubby diva but an actress to be reckoned with.

“I knew Charmain through Muholi and we got to know each other from there on, she wanted to do something different and powerful and that’s how chubby vogue started. It was basically an empowerment session to women who are not ideally perfect women in the society. It’s something that’s different and has never been done before “ – Lesiba Mothibe.

“My mom is an activist and a loving person, because when I was growing up we didn’t share our home just the two of us. She always welcomed her friends that were kicked out of home because of their sexuality. So she’s not only a mother to me but to a lot of people and that’s why people adore her. That’s my mom.” – Lynn Carrol, daughter of Charmain Carrol.

“I dressed up today because of what my photography is all about, I wanted to be a Diva today. I’m always in my jeans and All Stars (sneakers) you know. When people look at big women they think we don’t have style and not trendy enough to look beautiful.” -Charmain Carrol

On her right foot she has a tattoo of her daughter’s name, Carrol says that it’s an infinity sign because her daughter stands by her and it is love forever. She also states that, If it wasn’t for the support of her daughter Lynn, chubby vogue divas wouldn’t have been possible because she understood when her mother had to work and most of the time she had to stay alone at times while she was out busy photographing.

“To the big girls out there that feel trapped in their bodies, set yourselves free, get out and love yourself and be a Diva. When people call me is’dudla (fatty) it doesn’t offend me. I know I have flabby arms a big booty and big bones so I don’t need anyone to state the obvious. I am comfortable in my own skin.” – Charmain Carrol

Terra Dick, a photographer shared her views on how impressed she was of Carrol’s work and urges people to stop calling them Iscabaraba (fatty). A word of encouragement came when she stated that, the big women should love themselves more until it’s no longer strange to the ignorant.

A little history on chubby vogue Divas and the exhibition…

Carrol started Chubby Divas because she wanted to be a model but because of her weight and her size she couldn’t be one. She then saw an opportunity to embrace big women as they are and make their dreams come true by strictly photographing big women. Also to eliminate the stigma within the society that big women were created to make babies and nothing more. She saw it as a chance to let other plus size women to tell their stories through visuals. Carrol stated that being big doesn’t mean that one is prone to be sick.
“I don’t have hypertension or diabetes, I exercise and walk a lot, before you judge me walk in my shoes first.”
Chubby Vogue Divas started because big women found it difficult to relate to the women on the magazine covers. She started Chubby divas in 2014 May.

She then ended her speech with a bang by taking the crowd for a grand tour. The show came to an end at an extremely good note. Prospecting basics donated 3tickets for life coaching sessions to three lucky people. Each session will be 45 minutes for free. Anele a Life coach from prospecting basics donated the tickets.

Previous by Siba

2015 Aug. 7: Double Despair

Text by Siba Nkumbi
Photos by Lindeka Qampi

Let me begin this one with a question: Why is it that in the history of South African women’s football, in fact women’s sports, we still have male coaches?
Show me a female who coaches a professional men’s team in SA?
There is also the matter with female players being underpaid or not paid at all. These questions and many more, inevitably run through your head as a woman, who supports women in sport.

I’m talking about the Sasol Women’s League, the biggest league in SA women’s football. Mehlareng Stadium located in Tembisa, Johannesburg, was packed with supporters on the 10^th of August 2015.
The weather was nice and hot, a good day for a spectacular game. A smile appeared on my face when I realized that half of the fans were the opposite sex. It is good being supported and recognized, especially during women’s month. However, a thought crossed my mind, I imagined how lovely it would be for all the males running things for women to sit back and let women do things for themselves, we are extremely powerful and capable.

On arrival in Tembisa, the host township of the match, it was exactly 13:25 pm. The match was already in motion; fans were going wild, joyous and singing songs supporting their teams, who are amongst the biggest clubs in Jozi, Mamelodi Sundowns Ladies and the Palace Super Falcons Ladies (PSF). The two teams were battling it out. The first half was intense, each team doing their best to defend their names and playing hard enough to go to the next round of the league.

When the first half ended it was still 0-0. The pressure was on, coaches were restless, each giving strategies for the 2^nd half.  It wasn’t until a few minutes into the second when Jersey No.9 from Sundowns scored the first goal of the match against the Falcons. A trusted striker of Sundowns Rhoda Mulaudzi blew us all away with a spectacular goal. Falcons fans felt the sadness but didn’t give up, they sang louder to support their team in a time of despair.
Meanwhile, Sundowns were excited, ladies were screaming and brothers blew whistles celebrating the first goal of the match. Falcon’s players were panicking and determined for an equalizer. They pushed harder, not knowing that Mulaudzi had an ace up her sleeve. She used their vulnerable moment to her advantage and struck again with goal number 2 for her team.

That was a moment of fame for the ladies of Sundowns; they started to smell their victory. At that point the PSF coach was sweating, it became evident that he was feeling the stress of his team losing and the goalkeeper was feeling the frustration as well. Sundowns didn’t stop attacking as the opposition was beginning to feel the pressure. Falcons lost hope when the last goal of the match hit the back of the net. The unstoppable striker also scored the third goal for Sundowns. Mulaudzi in her Jersey No.9 was the hero of the day to the fans, teammates and coach. Five minutes after the hat trick the whistle was blown, ending the match.

The talent on the field amazed me. Both teams did their best, the game was well played and the players were disciplined. Mkhelele (Jersey No.2) from Falcons got a yellow card; there weren’t any injuries or red cards. It was a battle of the fittest and at the end the best team won. Thanks to the unstoppable Mulaudzi for bringing victory to her team. Without her teammates it wouldn’t have been possible. Well done to both teams, let’s keep on playing for the love of the game.

To top it all off, the game was on point with ambulances on standby in the field and the team from Endulwini fire station were ready for emergencies. Thankfully, it came to my attention that some departments do care about female sports; I suppose some progress is being made. As members of the LGBTI society, it is our duty to make sure that women in sports are getting the respect, recognition and are being taken good care of.

Dusty streets of Tembisa? I beg to differ. Townships hold the golden women in sports, they do not only play soccer for the love of the game, it’s every player’s life and daily bread for some. We breathe, talk and eat Diski. We had one woman amongst the match officials; assistant number two, Diatile Malefane. The remaining officials were, referee Mr. Mokwebo and Assistant one, Jetro Mdleni. We’re off to a good start; the future looks bright for women in sport. The final score was 3-0 to Sundowns.

“A game between Falcons and us is always a tough one, I’m glad we won against them and we are looking forward to the play offs in the nationals,” revealed Rhoda Mulaudzi, Sundowns striker.

Another Sundowns player, Thandi Nkosi from Soweto, stated that it was a big day for Sundowns. They (Falcons) beat them last season, so it was only right for Sundowns to go home with a 3-0 win.

Daniel, head coach of the Palace Super Falcon said that the game was tough and admitted how sad he was for the loss but admitted that the best team won.

“It’s very difficult to work with ladies, what I like about my team is that they are young, and ladies soccer in South Africa is very big. There is a stipend that is there for the ladies to keep them going, but I believe if Sasol or SAFA itself could have a professional team for the ladies, the league will grow,” Jerry Tshabalala coach of Sundowns.

Noluntu is a Sports Development coach and presenter, also specializes in soccer, softball, netball, basketball, cricket, hockey and rugby.

“I’m fully involved in the sports industry, as we know that this is women’s month and we wish and dream that women’s sport in South Africa could grow. Currently, women’s football is starting to develop. I’m happy that the national team, Banyana Banyana has a female coach, Vera Pauw, she’s doing a great job for the country at the moment. Today’s game was good, football is growing, football is fast and girls are developing. LGBTI is living and existing in the sport industry,” said Noluntu Makalima.

In retrospect, when it comes to media, we have a shortage of broadcasting in the country. For the girls to grow and the girls to get paid, soccer must not only be recognized at the national level. Local football must also be recognized so that women’s football can grow. Women’s football is supported in the townships, it is up to us to take it further by being active. There won’t be any rest until women are completely recognized and respected nationally and internationally in sports.

Related links

2014 Oct. 31: South Africa mourns three athletes

and

2013 June 17:  Fundraising for Choses FEW

My life resembles the story line of the famous English book Dr Jackal and Mr Hyde. I was born Wandile Sincwala on the 17^th of July 1988. Later in my teen years I was reborn as Somizy (Somgaga) as most people around my place of birth Daveyton know me. I’m the first born to my mother, Khethiwe Sincwala and late dad Tshidiso Mashinini.

Somizy-Sincwala, Parktown, 2014 © Zanele-Muholi

I was a happy and playful child, full of life and brought joy to my family. I started school at Enkangala Primary School in 1994 and later moved to Kwa-Ntsikana Higher Primary School. I was one of the best students and participated in sports, debate and sang in the school choral choir. I was Head Boy at Ntsikana PS. As a top student, my mother supported me 100% and was proud of my achievements at that young age. Being called “isitabane” is the reason I excelled. I told myself, “I am going to be the best in whatever I do,” it gave me guts to excel. This is what Wandile was about, being an excellent student.

The birth of Somizy was in 2002 in my first year in high school Lesiba Secondary School. My friends from primary all went to different schools. I went to a new school, made new friends and faced new challenges. I continued to be the best excellent student academically, played sports (Netball) and also sang in the school choral, leading in the choir and also an opera solo tenor. Later in my high school years I lost the drive. I focused more on being “Somizy the dancer” as I was nicknamed. I danced at school concerts, during shows and started attending parties during weekends like any other teenager.
In Grade 11 I was “out” and lived my life the way I thought being gay was about, booze, boys and living carelessly. I dropped out of school, did not see the reason for education, in my mind I thought being gay was all about being rebellious.

Second from left, Somizy Sincwala wins Miss Gay Daveyton 2015. Photo by Lindeka Qampi

Dropping out of school was hard on my family, especially my sweet mom. She advised me to do something with my life before its too late but that advise fell on deaf ears. I could only think about going to groove and of course my outfit for that night. It took me six years to actually realise the need for education and qualification.

In my six years I attempted to go back to school to finish my grades 3 times, but kept on dropping out. I worked at a restaurant, started working as a hairstylist and that has been what supported me through out the years. I finally realised that I need matric than to be wasting time enjoying my youth. I went to finish my grade 11 and this time I passed and a year after I did my matric and I did well too.
Now I’m at Springs College for Further Education & Training studying towards my Diploma in Tourism. Look back; the time I wasted had an impact on the Somizy that I am today. I found myself and through the ups and downs that happened in my life. I have always been the life of partying, I enjoy dancing and through partying I have gained a lot of friends. I was at every event I could go to in and around Daveyton.

In August 2012 I had a facial incident and I was hospitalised for 7 days. That was the most difficult time in my life to go through, I lost all my confidence. I lost the love I had for myself and for things around me. My face, which was my jewel, was scared, I couldn’t handle that. Somehow that was a turning point in my life. It could have been the end of Somizy, but I told myself that I’m greater than this, the devil was not going to own my life and take away my precious life.

A few months after I was hospitalised I heard that Lesiba Mothibe is organising a pageant for the Daveyton LGBTI organisation called Uthingo. I had the urge to enter; I wanted to be on that stage. I had nearly lost my life so I needed to experience everything I took for granted. I approached Lesiba who is like a mother to us, and enquired about the pageant.
She assisted me with the application. I have watched past gay pageants like Miss Gay Ekurhuleni, Miss Gay Valentine and Miss Gay Soweto, but I never thought I would take part in the future.

Somizy at the 2015 Miss Gay Ekurhuleni

Because it was a first pageant for most of us, Lesiba insisted on rehearsals and grooming so we could be ready. The event was hosted at Chill-Out in Maxhoseni section, in Daveyton. It was on 1st of December 2012 (World Aids Day) where I was crowned as the 1st Miss Uthingo 2012. I was surprised I won but I knew I had accomplished another milestone. Through rehearsals I regained myself, I had hope in Somizy again. It only sinked in later in the week that, I actually won, with a scared face. I bless that day, as it was the reawakening of my will power and confidence to walk tall.

Since then I have been entering pageants from Miss Black Pride, Miss Daveyton, Miss Gay Jozi, Miss Gay Soweto, Miss Gay Queens of Queens. I’m currently Miss Mzansi Pride 2014 and also a finalist for Miss Gay Daveyton 2015, which I was crowned 1st princess in 2014. I enter pageants for my empowerment. In every pageant I enter, I walk away with a different experience and I gain more confidence in myself.

I don’t focus on what the prices are but I focus on who am I am inspiring while on that stage

Since day one entering pageants I now own 8 pairs of heels and 4 ball gowns which costs me so much, but I don’t see that as a loss because I love what I’m doing.

Related links

2015 Aug. 28: I have always wanted to enter a pageant

and

2014 Aug. 30 I’m a game changer, leader and activist

by Christie van Zyl

This year was my first time attending Mbokodo awards ‘Celebrating Women in the Arts’.
Ang’zange nga kuzwa ukubumbana kwabantu besifazane kanje.
(I have never experienced a solidarity of women so strongly before)
Our mission for the night was to make sure we support Lindeka Qampi as a nominee in the ‘Creative Photography award’ category. Terra, Lindeka and I looked snazzy, as we headed over to Joburg City Hall, were the event was hosted. We took over the space through the lens and trended social media as if the event was our baby.

Lindeka in a celebratory mood… Photo by Terra Dick

Mbokodo awards were hosted by female comedian Tumi Morake, who introduced speeches by honorary members from the Department of Arts and Culture. Its 21 Years of Freedom and we have finally mastered a space for the recognition of women and the positive influence and change that they contribute to our still transforming democracy.

If you are you are told the story by the hunter, you will never know the heroism of the hunted.
– Susan Shabangu

Our table was riddled with winners, nominees and highly esteemed women in the arts & media industries. We enjoyed the vibrancy shared with Mamela Nyamza – nominated for the ‘Dance’ award, Oyama Mbopa, Shado Twala – Mbokodo Awards adjudicator, Monique Pelser – nominated for ‘Creative Photography award’, Thandiwe Tshabalala – winner of the ‘Creative design award’, Brenda Sisane – winner of the ‘Promotion of Arts in the Media’ award and Goitsemang Lehobye – winner of the ‘Opera’ award.
These individuals were on fire in support and celebration of the winners that have been part of our collective spaces as artists and media frontiers in South Africa. We also celebrated the winnings of Mbali Vilakazi – winner of the ‘poetry’ award.
She said, ‘2015, year of the underdog’.  Zolani Mahola of the South African band ‘Freshlyground’, also won the ‘music’ award.

We were graced with speeches from artists such Dada Masilo – winner of the ‘Dance’ award who expressed her joy from gaining recognition in her home country.

‘I have been in this industry for 13 years and gained recognition overseas, all over Europe and the USA, but to gain recognition at home is the greatest achievement for me by far’
– Dada Masilo

As well as Lindeka Qampi who panted through her speech struggling to believe that her win was real. She gave a sentimental and light hearted speech, she left the stage bouncing from one foot to the other like the tomboy that she usually is. After having accepted her award with her shoes off as they were causing discomfort while she obviously had to take photographs as she had stated.

‘I would like to thank Mbokodo awards for this award, it is very special to me. I never fully believed that I was nominated for this award until tonight. I would like say thank you to God.
I would like to say to Zanele Muholi – you are the oxygen in my life.
To my four kids – ndiyifumene into ebendiyizela lapha (I got what I came here for).
Thank you to the LGBTI community for allowing me to document your lives. Thank you. Bye!’
– Lindeka Qampi

The best performances took place with Vicky Sampson, KB and Swazi Dlamini performing Vicky’s 1995 Rugby World Cup smash hit ‘My African Dream’.
To our surprise we were also graced by the presence of Dorothy Masuku, who at 80 years old performed as if she was still young, but definitely never dropped the fresh!
We sang a jolly happy birthday to her and were then wowed by the serendipitous opera sounds of Sibongile Mngoma a past Mbokodo award winner.
The evening ended with South African Jazz Legend Thandi Klaasen singing the heartfelt jam ‘Meadowlands’ in a frail and memory fading state, she still rocked the stage.

There I was a young poet and activist trying to penetrate the arts and media industry mingling with the cream of the crop. Women I look up to, women I have worked alongside with, women that I never thought I would meet in my lifetime; and even women that I have been downtrodden with. There is something about knowing the struggle behind someone’s success, which makes it feel as though their every single achievement is something that you are personally achieving too. I left the awards with a mission to be one of the women that receive an award in the next two years, a pot plant of orchids – which symbolized my mother’s presence in the audience, and of course Shado Twala’s contacts who personally asked me to send her my work because she believes that there is just something about me!
I am truly humbled. Mission accomplished – Lindeka took home the ‘Creative Photography’ award – the greatest accomplishment of our household in 2015.

Winners of the 2015 Mbokodo Awards

Women in Indigenous Art – Helen Sebidi
Promotion of Language and Story Telling – Nise Malange
(An honorary award was also given to Nomsa Mdlalose)
Creative Writing – Lauren Beukes
Poetry – Mbali Vilakazi
Creative Photography – Lindeka Qampi
Visual Art (sculpture, Painting and video) – Berni Searle
Architecture – Nadia Tromp
Creative Design – Thandiwe Tshabalala
Fashion design and innovation – Hangwani Nengovhela
Dance – Dada Masilo
Opera – Goitsemang Lehobye
Theatre – Maralin Vanrenen
Comedy – Irit Noble
Women in Film – Ryley Grunenwald
Women in Jazz – Thandi Ntuli
Music – Zolani Mahola
Promotion of Arts in the Media – Brenda Sisane
Women Arts Ambassador – Yvonne Chaka Chaka
Women Arts Ambassador – Marrianne Fassler
Lifetime Achievement Award – Dr. Thembeka Nkamba van Wyk
Lifetime Achievement Award – Thandi Klaasen

Thank you to Carol Bouwer and her crew for creating such a powerfully inspirational space for women, by women. You give us something to aspire for in the realization that the bigger picture is still searching for many pieces to the puzzle of our liberation.

Wathinta abafazi, wathinta imbokodo!

Previous links

2015 Sept. 10:  Lindeka Qampi nominated for 2015 Mbokodo Award

and

2014 Oct. 31:  Mbokodo awards honor the first ladies of our heritage

and

2013 Aug. 31:  Black Lesbian Visual Activist wins Mbokodo award

and

2013 Aug. 29:  2nd Mbokodo Awards photos

and

2012 Nov. 30 Mbokodo awards

by Tinashe Wakapila

Relationships are simply the mirrors of your happiness; they reflect it and help you celebrate it. Most people enter into relationships with an eye
toward what they can get out of them, rather than what they can
put into them. Nobody will fix your life or make you feel special, if
you are not able to give that to yourself first.

Just like when you get into a relationship and expect to feel loved. Okay, get me right, that is the reason to be in a relationship, but there is a certain way you have to get into one. You cannot get into it broken, with doubts, fears or because the reason you are in it is to heal. No, you must find closure, love and healing by yourself. ONLY THEN, can the other person’s love become a soothing completion. There are two words that most people use when they define the same thing, but it does not have the same meaning.

One such example is complete and finished. It has been said that, “When you marry/love the right one, you are COMPLETE.” And “when you marry/love the wrong one, you are FINISHED.”

When you get into a marriage or love relationship expecting to give, including giving what you are not putting into yourself, then you are Completely Finished. Its logic, you cannot give what you do not have.

When I was young my mother would let me rock myself to sleep, and when I cried too much she would sit there. Her heart breaking as I soothed myself with a thumb or sucker (pacifier). At that moment I thought she was evil, how could she do such? She would only come with her breast so I can suckle, after I had silenced myself.  Now as an adult that concept has come to play, I do not run and get all dependent, on my mother or other people. Often when the going gets tough I’d rather stand tall and work through my battles. My mother and other people become soothers after I have done most of the groundwork.

Coming to same sex love, should I spend my life regarded as “her best friend who lives with her?”
Because the human species that brought me in this world has refused to get it. Shall I then shun the whole idea of me walking down the aisle with the one I love because s/he is like me?
I refuse, because as long as there is a legislation that allows me to be in holy matrimony. I shall render my single power and do exactly what any girl dreams of, walk down the aisle with her, even if it means my wedding will have 10 people or less. I will not care, as long as the witnesses available share the same sentiment as me, I shall rejoice.

Yes it was my dream to have my mother covered with blankets for traditional celebration purposes. But I have crossed the traditional norms of marriage; the other who is supposed to be giving is like me. Should I then die labeled as “single”?
While I have a loving soul mate who has vowed to carry me till the grave. There is nothing as sad as parents who spend all their lives denying their child’s sexuality, and when she dies while she is with her homosexual family, want to act as if they knew so much about their child and claim her belongings. Saying all they knew was that “she was with her friend.” No, it should not work like that. When one decides to make it their business to reject their own, they should allow it to be till the end, to enable those who carried her to lay her to rest, amongst the community of people who were fond of her.

I have a note for those who have refused to acknowledge me. I am not going to die single; I have found her. Give her the respect she needs when I am gone, just because you refused to embrace what we have embraced does not give you the right to hold on to your disrespect even when I am gone. She is my one and only, the person I cherish.

I refuse to be labeled single and unmarried, just because traditionally things were not done appropriately. If you have not noticed, I have passed the ‘appropriate’ already.

Faces and Phases participants, Phila Mbanjwa and Tinashe Wakapila, a selfie taken by Phila somewhere in Durban (28.06.2015)

Blessed are those who will go through a traditional celebration for their marriages as gays and lesbians, because they are complete. I too will have completed my service with or without the traditional wedding. That white wedding and the few acknowledgements shall witness my Holy matrimony. It is not everything you take that is given. Never put your happiness in other people‘s hands, they will drop it. Love is not a feeling because feelings come and go!
It is therefore a decision to commit, to meet the needs of another person without expecting anything in return.

So what if I do not get commemorated and get called broken and indecisive, my feelings and emotions still come back to believe this:

• Broken crayons still color.
• Shattered mirrors still reflect light.
• Being broken does not mean that we are useless.
• Being shattered does not mean that we must be thrown out.
• Break a crayon and it becomes perfect for sharing with another person.
• Shatter a mirror and it becomes a mosaic of little reflections.
• Being broken means that we have the capacity to color the world more beautifully than a rainbow.
• Being shattered means that we have a greater power to reflect light.
• We must not see our broken life as pointless.
• We must not see the shattered pieces of our existence as a waste.
• Quite the contrary, in fact. Every broken and shattered piece of our life is a part of what makes each of us beautiful and meaningful.

No one colors the world quite like you. No one reflects the light of existence the way you can. Today, I will color this world and brighten this day in my own special way because I am broken and shattered.

Done for what its worth.

Previous by Tinashe

2015 Jan. 3:  I dropped out of the closet many times